Recently I was threatened and bullied on social media … I’m not going to reveal who it was or where it happened… but suffice it to say, it threw me for a loop.
Big time.
It was late in the evening and I was alone when the message arrived. This attack was unwarranted, way off-base, and came out of nowhere. It was evil and dark. It entered my home through a device and violated my space; my safe haven, my little piece of heaven on earth.
I spent an entire night with a stomach ache and heart palpitations. I was up having a bath at 3:00am just trying to calm myself … and I’m an adult (a very mature adult.) Imagine what the children nowadays are dealing with … it sickens me.
Luckily, I do have enough life experiences and I knew right away I needed to talk about it. One of the best ways of dealing with bullies (in my opinion) is to talk talk talk … tell trusted people. Do not internalize. But here I am a week later, still processing this bit of ugliness … still expecting the boogyman to jump out from under my bed.
As I move forward, I’m focusing on the positives in my (on-line) life, and this quote I found at thekhoolhaus.tumblr.com has helped.
I truly do just wanna go on more adventures … be around good energy … connect with people, learn new things, grow.
Just wondering … have you ever been bullied or harassed? How did you deal with it?
Thanks for listening, and please help yourself to this word art (click on image) ♥
For help and more information on how to deal with bullying go to:
How awful Barb! I’m very sorry that you had to go through this…It’s never happened to me, but a friend had a big problem with online bullying and she felt very distraught and upset.
I hope this won’t happen again…sending you much love dear friend xo
Thank you so much Cristina! Your support it very soothing … online bullying is terrible and by posting this I was hoping to help myself of course, but others too. Talking really does help.
I can’t believe this happened. Anyone targeting you has to be jealous of you and your talent. I’m glad you talked about it and didn’t keep it in. You’re darling. Sending hugs.
Thank you so much my friend! Your words are very soothing xo
Oh my Barb, that is awful. I have not experienced this in my life either. Telling someone is the best way to diffuse the feelings. We are all here to listen❤️❤️
Thank you Pat! so appreciated my friend! xo
Oh that’s horrible! I’ve had one really negative online person that would comment on different platforms. I deleted/blocked them immediately, and knew they were just a miserable person, but I had SO many conversations, replies, comebacks in my head for a couple of days! I’m sorry this happened. I hope you know they are the one with the problem. You are amazing and a happy blessing for the rest of us! :) xo
Thank you Kelly … I am still chewing on this (obviously) but am slowly getting my head on straight. I swear, talking to people helps more than anything!! I’m sorry this happened to you too! I haven’t blocked that person (yet) because I’m waiting to see if they continue :( sad
It happened to me last December big time and it made me re-evaluate whether or not I wanted to continue blogging and sharing on social media or not. Obviously I got over it because I’m still puttering along in blogland, but I move forward cautiously. Unfortunately, it comes with the territory.
Sorry this happened to you. Just know that you inspire people daily with your beautiful creations. Hugs, Shauna
Oh, I am so sooo sorry it happened to you Shauna! I’m very happy you have continued on … I love your blog and you are the sweetest person-it just makes me angry. I can’t believe how many people have been attacked like this and are now just confiding in me. It’s shocking. Hugs to you!
wrapping my arms around you in a big hug !!!!
Thank you Mary xo
So sorry you had to experience this Barb. I can’t think of a nicer person. It is amazing to me how unbelievably cruel people can be….even those who don’t know you at all. Put the negative behind and know that there are far more of us out here who truly appreciate you and your posts and your inspiration!
Thank you so much Pam, for your support … and that is it in a nutshell – this person does.not.know.me!! I’m in the process of putting trying to put it behind me, but it’s hard not to obsess :(
Barb,
I send you hugs. I have experienced other types of bullying in my life. And I have been experiencing recently having to deal with comfronting individuals on social media who are Stealing photos. It is very difficult. Because when it comes out of the blue and a person totally invades your space. You do not feel safe. I applaud you. Know that you have a community of people who are here with you and you are not alone.
We love you.
Ann
Thank you Ann. Sorry to hear you’ve experienced bullying elsewhere (actually so have I). And I hear you about people stealing photos (and not giving credit!) they are stolen from blogs, IG, Pinterest … on and on. I see it all the time :( hugs to you my friend! xo
Unimaginable! I am so very sorry this happened to you. Was it a stranger? If it was someone you know, you might want to consider that their account was hacked. I had received a rather vulgar message from someone I knew…but when I chatted with her about it she told me that her account was hacked, so it was the hacker who sent the vulgar message….not just to me, but several other of her contacts as well. She wound up shutting down her account and doesn’t plan on re-establishing an account. So sad. Hacker or not, I can’t understand why anyone would do such a thing? What are they getting out of it? You are right Barb, it’s got to be 10 times worse for the kids out there. Teens can be cruel. You’ve set a good example by talking about it. so, so sorry my friend.
Hi Carol … thank you so much! This person definitely aimed their toxic waste straight at me-they knew exactly what they were doing. And they were not really on my radar before, but they sure are now :(
Barb, I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. I can’t imagine what would motivate someone to lash out like this. I believe your continued focus on what is good and positive is the best way to battle such ugliness. I echo what others have said about your putting forth beauty, inspiration, and light with your blog and beautiful photography. These are things that matter and make a difference in this, sometimes-crazy, world.
Thank you Linda … I’m still trying to figure out why … but hopefully soon it will simply fade away into a distant memory. I wonder if they were treated in much the same way? Would that be a reason? Anyway, thank you for your encouragement – it means so much!
This just breaks my heart as there is no reason for such ugliness…Unfortunately, our world is full of it but I am so sorry that you have had to deal with it. And you are right….just image what our kids and grandkids have to deal with daily. I am sending you big hugs sweet friend…..
Thank you Nancy … I really appreciate your support xo
Hello Sweet Lady, I can not get over how people are so evil and yes this is SO EVIL . Keep on going and I know you will. I love the quote . Just love it and your works here and on IG.
I had my FB almost hacked , they contacted me and in the same hour my bank called saying my credit card was being used in the states.
I stopped all payments on the internet everywhere and really have not moved forward since. Thank goodness for the move , my home , my hubby and my faith. Keep going and glad you talking about it. Many hugs from the West. :)
Thank you so much Lisa … I appreciate your support. Ugh about your fb and credit card :( such crazy people out there! Thank you for the hugs!
Barb, you are such a great inspiration to me, not because you post beautiful pictures but because I can tell you have a beautiful heart! So sorry that you had this happen to you, I think some people are so bitter for whatever reason and they find it normal to put others down. It has not happened to me but your comment on how this can effect kids made me cringe since I have a 13 year old boy. Keep up the good work, you many, many followers who admire you and your work!
Thank you Adriana … I guess there’s just no way of knowing the “why” so I will now get moving and keep creating. About the kids these days … I don’t mean to scare you but it’s something to be aware of. Two of my grandchildren have had cyber-bullying happen to them :( but their parents are aware and supportive. Again, I believe in talking, talking, talking!!!! talking!
Hi, I was bullied at school a long time ago. My big brother sorted them out :). Nowadays, decades later, If I come across a nasty person, I just think ‘what goes around comes around’ and generally feel sorry for them. I’m a great believer in karma.
Whoever sent you that message is just a bitter person and you’re not the cause or the real target of his or her venom.
If he or she bothers you again, I’ll send my big brother over 😆
Xxx
SUCH good advice Henrietta! Being as it was my first attack I was caught completely off-guard and it really threw me. My skin is thicker already :) Thank you for your support!
Oh Barb dear, I’m so sorry this happened to you! I don’t know what is wrong with some people, that they have to spew hatred everywhere they go…I always picture them as trolls, little and nasty, hairy and warty ugly creatures; icky small (especially metaphorically) trolls, so filled with bitterness and misery that they feel the need to take their resentment out on anyone who seems nice and happy. Ugh. And awful that you heard from that on a night when you were all alone, and that they violated your safe space.
I’m so glad though that you knew the best way to heal was to talk about your experience, despite the nastiness! There are so many of us who love and admire you…you are a beautiful person in many ways. Sending gentle virtual hugs xoxoxo.
Thank you Barbara … I know … the trolls … I really haven’t had any experience with them until now. I do believe my skin is getting thicker already :)
Oh Barb , I am so sorry this happened to you . I know first hand how it feels . About 10 years ago I had a terrible encounter with someone too , she said horrible hurtful things , and as a highly sensitive person it cut deeply. The pain lasted for a long time .
I hope you know how many people love your gentle soul and are rooting for you .
Two nieces have been bullied at high school , and it is devastating. These experiences will stay with them for life. What is wrong with people?
Thank you Lynn … I guess I would fit into that highly sensitive person category … but I’m starting to feel a bit less sensitive about it (thanks to everyones support :) Sorry you had to have that encounter years ago :(
So sorry to hear. You are such a beautiful person. I stand with you and agree that it is so powerful to surround yourself with beautiful and positive people. Take care.
Thank you my friend!
I am so sorry this happened to you Barb! It seems that it takes just one negative person to erase all the positivity we feel from others and to make us leery of sharing again.
And I am sorry that the person who threatened and bullied you is so unhappy that s/he felt the need to resort to this behavior to feel more powerful or better (?) about him/herself.
Thank you Roxanne …. many people have said that this person must be very unhappy indeed.
Oh Barb,
My heart hurts for you as I know how soul wounding personal attacks can be.
My world is admittly very small and reading your post makes me think that it’s maybe a blessing.
How sad that the more we open and share of ourselves, the more at risk we are for the haters and nay-sayers of this world.
I read in one of the posts in this bread that it must be a jealous person and I couldn’t agree more . . . jealousy has reared its toxic and ever so ugly head.
You know in your heart your truth and the beauty you bring to this world and ever growing fan base.
Hang on to that knowledge and don’t let the vile toxic waste of one, over-shadow the beauty of that huge loving community.
Maybe take a nice hot Cuppa and scroll through your social media accounts and re-read the thousands of positive affirmations sent to you as you as set about trying to heal the wounds such ugliness brings.
You are a lovely bright light that no darkness can over take. ✨💛✨
Hugs dear friend and wishes for healing. ❤️
Wise words Bev … I guess I do put myself “out there” and really should expect that out of the thousands of good and supportive comments, there will at least be one nasty encounter … and probably more. I learn by experience so I will probably handle the next one better. Thank you for being such a friend!
Isn’t it sad that because you devote yourself to sharing the beauty within and around you, that you have expect this kind of thing.
You didn’t deserve it Barb and I’m so sorry it happened.
Thank you Bev! xo
No glasses means typos – the word was not “bread” but “thread” Sorry!
Jumping in to say how very sorry I am too Barb. I’ll never understand why these kinds of people can’t just keep their evil and nasty thoughts to themselves. Bev is right, take some time to scroll through your social media accounts and take a hard look at just how many people adore you and what you do…..and then just keep on doing it!
Thank you so much Cheryl … I really have been blessed with thousands of positive and loving comments and I really must focus on them! xo
It is sad that this happened, Barb, and although it is just my opinion here, and I do not in ANY WAY, mean to sound insensitive, is it really worth the anguish???? Now I DO NOT mean, “is BEING HERE worth the anguish?” We are all here for one reason or another, but is this person really worth your time and energy???? Trust me, they simply move on to someone else. I would not give them the satisfaction of “being heard” in any way, shape, or form.
Hi Lisa, thanks for weighing in on this, and I appreciate what you are saying. Although I’m not convinced this person would just “move on to someone else”. They may add someone else to their list of victims, but I doubt I’m off their radar. I’ve had experience with a bully and years ago I bought the book “Take The Bully By the Horns” by Sam Horn. I’ve read and reread it and I have to say I subscribe to their point of view. Here’s a quote:
*****
“One thing I’ve discovered is that most people being bullied don’t deserve it. You didn’t start this battle and you don’t want it. You’re not doing anything to provoke the bully. In fact, you’re probably doing everything you can to lay low and avoid this person.
Believe it or not, avoiding bullies makes matters worse because it makes them feel more powerful. As crazy as it sounds, the more you retreat, the more the bully will attack. Your avoidance is interpreted as weakness – which actually encourages aggression.” Sam Horn
http://www.takethebullybythehorns.com
*****
I think bullying should be brought out into the open and people shouldn’t turn a blind eye. I for one would be feeling really sick right now if I had tried to deal with this all by myself, and perhaps this may even have helped someone else who has been too afraid to speak up.
Wow, I’m so sorry this happened to you Barb ! It shouldn’t happen to anyone. You are one of the sweetest people I know and I can understand how hurt you must feel. But as everyone has said, please don’t let that one sad person spoil everything for you. You are very much loved and I hope you know that . Big hugs xxx
Thank you Caz! you are the sweetest! xo
Lovely Barb, I myself feel sickened to
think that you–YOU!–of all people would
be subject to harassment of this sort. I’m
not surprised that with your usual grace
you’ve come to grips and risen above the
bullying….but it should never have happened
in the first place.
I’m so, so, sorry.
I think there are “trolls” that get some sick
kind of pleasure from spreading their poison.
Please don’t let them stop you from sharing
your beautiful gifts!
I’m old-fashioned enough to still believe
that good will always triumph over evil.
Please believe it, too.
xo Suzanne
Thank you so much Suzanne … as always your words are soothing xo
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You know you have so much support and admiration from the community of artists that follow you and feel uplifted by your work. Do not let anyone that that from you. Your talent, vision, your willingness to share your work and include us in your journey must not be hurt in any way. I support you. I admire you.
Thank you so much Anita … I do have a lot of support and I am really feeling it! thank you again my friend!
I am so sorry Barb, it hurts to the quick. Yes I have had this experience as a child and as an adult. I enjoy IG but not FB because I am still scared. Go figure. Being able to say I am an Artist has given me a solid platform to stand on even if its small. You share so openly and are so full of talent, there must be jealousy lurking around. Hugs my friend.
Thank you Sally … sorry you’ve had this same experience, it does really hurt :( hugs to you too! xo
I just can’t even fathom this happening to you. I’m so sorry and shaken to hear this. Love you so much. The world needs your talent! Don’t ever take it away.
Thank you Julie! xoxoxoxo big {{hugs}}
I truly do not understand how someone…an adult someone finds amusement in this…when all you are doing is simply creating beautiful images. I’m beyond words. Hopefully you were able to report this person (if it was on IG) You’ve got a lot of support here and I’m just sorry you had to go through this.
Thank you Kelly … I haven’t reported it (yet) but it does remain an option …
Barb, I can’t imagine what would motivate someone to attack you in such a way, other than their own internal damage. I’m sure it was not deserved nor “asked for” in any way! It’s all about them, not you at all.
I’m so sorry you had to experience this. But in a way perhaps they’ve done you a favor. I think you have confirmation now that a great many people do indeed read your blog, and they care not only about what you publish, but about YOU. Just look at all these supportive, love-filled comments! I’m sending hugs and my hope that your peace will soon be fully restored.
Thank you so much León … you are absolutely the sweetest. I truly do realize how much support I have – and I could not be more humbled.
Hi Barb, I follow you on Instagram and saw that you were at Emerald Lake. I wanted to read a little about you…was excited to see you touring B.C.!
Then I see this…I’m so sorry! I have heard from others that there are “trolls” out there! How sad is that! I don’t understand being so negative or mean!
I love your work and feel inspired to learn photography every time I see your post!
Sending a big hug your way, xo
Thank you so much for your kind words … sadly I guess there are trolls out there … and this was my first experience. Hopefully next time I won’t be so freaked out!!
I follow you on IG as well, and have visited your lovely and interesting blog … thank you for stopping by today and for your support.
We are really loving Emerald Lake (it’s our second visit and it’s amazing!)
Barb
:)
Oh my goodness, that is terrible. I hate that you had to go through that!
Thank you Pam xo
Oh Barb, that was so unwarranted. I can’t imagine what an awful experience that would be, and what on earth would cause someone to consider doing such a horrible thing. I’m glad you didn’t give in, and stayed strong. Continue leaning on others to get through it. Hugs to you
Thank you Celine! I’m pretty sure it’s over now … but I am glad I didn’t cave to this person … now I’m thinking they must be pretty sad :(
Wow. I am so sorry this happened to you- you of all people! You put your heart and soul into your art and this blog- I am mad and sad for you! You are right to talk about it- it helps. I can remember a series of anonymous phone calls I got after coming home from the hospital with my first baby- so scary! Online bullying is becoming increasingly common now I guess, but I’m really so sorry it happened to YOU! Don’t let that negative energy stop you from putting your art out there- I don’t comment often, but I do come by to enjoy your work. Hugs to you!!!
Thank you so much Melinda! Oh – that must have been horrible to receive actual phone calls – what possesses some people?!! As for my little incident, I did continue to put my art out there … even though at first I didn’t feel like it :( but now I think it’s over.
I haven’t been visiting your blog these last weeks dear Barb and I discover only today this sad thing that happened to you… even if it is late to comment, I want to let you know that my heart aches for you as I read that you, such a lovely and generous person, were the target of such an evil person…
I understand that such an ugly behavior can poison your mind and make you feel unsecure for a while but I’m sure that you’re such a frank and clear and strong and wise woman that you’ll soon forget these contemptible bullyings… You’re so much above this hideous meanness… it’s a good thing that you could open your heart and share your feelings… a huge friendly hug to you dear Barb!
Thank you so much Odile! you are such a kind soul! It’s been a few weeks since this happened and I haven’t had any more threats (fingers crossed I never do), so I’m feeling much better now. Now I’m thinking this person must be very sad indeed :(
How utterly pathetic, it amazes me that grown adults can behave it that way, clearly they don’t have enough to do in their lives. Where as you have masses of positive things in your life which you generate of your own energies and creativity. I admire enormously your Instagram gallery and images so you just keep sending out that positive love into the world via your photography!
Best wishes coming to you from the U.K.
Ps. Rather chuffed that you liked an image of mine as I new to this and on a steeeep learning curve.
Melanie … you made me smile :) thank you SO much for stopping by and for your kind and generous comment! I do have masses of positive things in my life … I was simply so shocked by this person’s meanness I couldn’t let them get away with it completely. Although I didn’t engage with that person, I found simply venting here on my blog and getting all this amazing support was enough to calm me down. Thank you!
I just came across your Instagram last week and I think you are so talented and inspirational! I had a travel blog a few years ago and I started getting bullied on it and it really hurts. It hurts you way more than you want it to. I was so offended and I even questioned “why am I writing this blog if people are going to be so damn mean?” But, those people that are bullying are miserable with themselves and they see someone that is happy and talented and they must take their own personal issues out on others. It’s easier said than done but don’t let them get to you. They aren’t worth it and I LOVE reading your blog and instagram. You are an inspiration!!
Thank you so much Laura! I appreciate your kind words and that you took the time to stop by and add your support. And yes, now I do believe those people must be miserable … so sad.
Barb, I’m so sorry to hear this. There ARE good and bad people, it hasn’t changed throughout history, but meeting the evil personally hurts so much more than just hearing about the stories. I think it must be quite difficult to decide how to react to such nasty behaviour, whether just ignore it or strike right back and possibly turn that attack into a fight… Best wishes to you!
Thank you so much Petra!
How awful, there are some really sad people out there with nothing better to do! Your posts are always an inspiration to me! Hope you are ok xxx
Thank you Sarah! xo
You’ve had so many comments on this topic, so much support! That’s wonderful!
I, too, had an evil person email me. I responded to her accusation by writing to my entire newsletter list to make sure no one else “misunderstood” my motives. Then she wrote again, even more evil than before, taunting me. I told my kids about it and they gave me such good advice: Ignore her. Don’t even take her off your newsletter list. Just ignore her. All she wants is attention.
I never heard from her again. But, yes, at the time it was unnerving. So sorry you had to go through this. Hugs.
Linda, you are such a class act. I can imagine you writing that newsletter – you are such a caring and kind person and would feel horrible if you thought you had hurt someone. Boo to that troll! I so appreciate you stopping by my blog and for your support! sorry for the late response! xo
Barb,
Here it is, November 18th and I just happened upon your site through Pinterest. I was looking for the instructions for the darling burlap chain and I saw your story about the Internet bully. It immediately struck a cord with me. I was bullied while growing up (my step father being the first) and I know how that can influence every decision,every thought and every ounce of self esteem that a young person has.
I am much older now but it does not take much of a trigger, like a troll, to bring up the memories and the vulnerability of childhood. You were absolutely correct to write about it. I hope for your sake, just in case, you have changed all you passwords on all you accounts. You never know…….
On a lighter note, I like your writing. You are clear and to the point. I like that.
Hi Sheila,
I so appreciate you stopping by and leaving a comment … it’s never to late to share! I’m sorry you were bullied like that :( I’m very fortunate to have only experienced bullying on a minor level but bullying is bullying and it’s unacceptable. People who bully need to be called out (in my opinion.) Take care xo