If you could see me, and my days, the title of this post “trying to stay positive” would seem ludicrous. My life is good, and rich, and happy.
It’s just … that I’ve been too busy. Too on the go. I feel overwhelmed and discombobulated.
I look at emails in my inbox and my eyes glaze over. I see the mountainous pile of laundry and my heart pounds (can I not just throw it all out?) I look at my garden and think “I’ll never get a handle on this.” I think about capturing a photo for Instagram, or writing a blog post, and I freeze. My friends have been wanting me to go for a walk for weeks (and I’ve been declining.)
This morning I woke up (with the robins) before 5:00, and started thinking about the days I could hardly wait to get to the computer, or the camera, and I started wondering … what is going on here? It has me a bit concerned. But then I poured a coffee and went and sat on the deck for a bit. I listened to the birds, checked the rain gauge (more rain!) and marvelled over the incredible green wall of trees that surrounds our yard.
I began thinking about this coming summer, and how I want to spend it. It’s right on the doorstep and I’m not ready.
More and more my heart is telling me that I just want to “be”, but what that looks like, I’m not sure. The one thing I do know is that I can do whatever I want. I just need to get some laundry done, and stay positive.